F*ck Monday: Breast Cancer

Good Monday All! 

Hope your week hasn't been too deary now that we are set for a wet and cold winter and everyone is really a little down in the dumps due to this grey days and dark nights.I just wanted to apologise for the lack of weekend blogging, my boyfriend and I went up to see his family in Coventry for the weekend which was really lovely, I got to meet both his Nan and Sister for the first time even though we have been together over 18months... Time flys.

Anyway the main topic that I wanted this blog post to be about today is around breast cancer/cancer in general. This is going to be a really personal post about what has happened to me in the last couple of months so if your not keen on that then return back to my site tomorrow for a more perkier post.

So now I am going to tell you all about one of the scariest moments in my life. Last year my boyfriend and I went to Mexico, I got slightly burnt on my chest one day but never thought much of it. According to my doctor I am very unusal that I don't have a single mole on my body - all I have is a handful of freckles and normal colouring. A few weeks after my holiday I noticed a werid lumpy red blemish which was on the front of my right boob. I didn't think much of it as I thought it was a spot. A few months had passed and it seemed that the mark had got bigger. So in May I went to my doctors and he looked at it and measured it said that he didn't think it was anything to worry about but just to keep an eye on it. It kept growing and started to get lumpier so I went back to the doctors it was the end of June and he remeasured it and agreed it had changed and had increased by 30% in size. I was referred to a Dermatologist who saw me within 3 weeks and after my first consulation she wanted me to go back within a week for a biopsy. This did scare me and I started to fret a little, if I am honest I was more scared of the proceedure than what the outcome was going to be. On the day of the biopsy the Dermatologist kept hovering over this lump a little longer than was comfortable. She called in another doctor and a nurse where it was agreed that they lump needed to be removed as had changed since the consultation. This meant that it was going to be a bigger proceedure and I was going to have 6 stitches.

I am a born worrier but with this I did keep it to a select few of friends and it did make me feel very emotional. I couldn't help but worry and let me imagination run wild whilst I waited for my results. I didn't know how I should had felt and some moments I just got caught up in my thoughts. Luckily the results came back clear of cancer and it was a burst blood vessel (which they are now investigating because it is an odd place for them to occur). But it was a huge relief and now I just had to wait for the cut to heal.

After the stitches were removed, the tissue had actually healed together proper and split open, now because I have a sensitive stomach I won't go into too much detail. But I pulled off a plaster one day and I caught my boob in my hand and it was leaky muck and blood dripping though my hand. I was terrified I thought my boob had burst. Now that was 2 and a half months ago... and it still hasn't healed in fact it is getting worst. There is no infection in the wound, it just had something called over granulation... it was quite confusing all the things that were mentioned. But since then I have been going to the doctors once a week to get it checked and dressed. But I am very fortunate enough to have great parents and boyfriend who have helped me so much with the dressing faff. It is too awkward for me too do because my boobs are so big and natural which means they tend to fall south which causes pain. I have had to pack the would with idoine patches and worn padded dressing which look really attractive... NOT.

This how experience has been dragging on me a little and I know some days I am just feeling sorry for myself but it is because of the time that it has been going on. It sounds so daft but it makes me feel really ugly and at times I thought 'Oh, Olly (that's the boyf) won't find me attractive because my boobs so rotten.' Even though I know he is isn't that shallow like at all  but when you feel horrible it can just drag on you. It has helped that before this happened I was getting fitter and losing weight which was making me feel better but I haven't been able to excercise because I have to let them have little movement as possible so it doesn't leak or get bigger. A result of this and me feeling like crap I have put a bit of weight on, not too much, but enough to make me feel grim. I just not sure how I would had got through these last few months without my family, friends and boyfriend - all whom have helped me so much.

To be honest I am one of the lucky ones, because it could had been a lot worst than it was. It is just a shame that it is taking a LOT longer than it would had to heal. But my advice to every girl out there is if something comes on your body which isn't normal for you get it checked out because you never know what it might be. 

If anyone out there is going through something like this or wants to talk. Just contact me on twitter @MissLaceyLoves or by email on misslaceyloves@gmail.com